Asking The 2nd Question

I have a neighbor with a snow blower. This morning he didn't stop after he blew the 4-5 inches of snow off his driveway and sidewalks. He continued on to our driveway and sidewalk, a most neighborly gesture!

So I went out to say "Thank you!" and to engage in a little neighborly conversation.

"How's all your family doing this winter?" I asked.

"OH, we're making out." He answered.

"So everyone's healthy?" I continued the querying.

"Healthy? No, not healthy. The wife is having problems. Her hands are burning all the time and she hasn't been able to go back to work. The carpal tunnel surgery was supposed to end her problems, but it seems like it only made matters worse!"

I already knew that HE'D been laid off from a good job 2 years ago. Although he has been working since then , it's been at unsatisfactory positions and bad hours. "You gotta do what you gotta do," he's told me on different occasions. And now SHE is not physically able to work.

These are trying times for our neighbors!

I was sorry to hear about their difficulties, but glad I asked the 2nd question.

That got me to thinking: I wonder how often we miss making real connections with people because we stop after the obligatory "How are you? Fine. Thank you."

Neighborliness can grow into relationship and then community building. But only if someone is willing to take the time to ask the 2nd and 3rd questions. And after asking to listen!

Now the ball's in my court. How will I let my neighbors know we're here for them?